:)

Well we transferred 2 beautiful blasts on Monday. My emotions are all over the place. It's 2 days later and I"m already freaking out about if it worked. I'm so nervous that it didn't. I want this SO bad. I can't imagine getting a BFP but at the same time can't imagine what will happen if I don't.

We're still waiting on if there were any to freeze. Doc said later this week he's email us. I think if we dont' hear by the end of today I'll email him and ask about it. They should have known by yesterday if they were gonna freeze any.

I can go in for a pregnancy test on Monday. I'm gonna see what my work schedule is first so I don't go in on a day I"m working. I just couldn't handle getting bad news at work.

I'm feeling ok with some horrible gas stuff off and on. Yesterday I thought maybe I had OHSS but I dont' think so today.

WOW

First off sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been caught in the IVF whirlwind. So we had egg retrieval on Wednesday. They got 15 eggs. Then the long wait began. Let me go back for a minute. Last Sunday I went in for an U/S cause the doc thought I might be mature enough to trigger. Well the news wasnt' good. Doc said that the follicles seemed to have shrunk. I freaked out. Doc seemed calm but I didn't like this news one bit. It didn't help that I was sleep deprived
from being forced to get up before dawn on Saturday and Sunday. It took all my courage to make it through the day. Monday came with good news. The follicle worked hard overnight and I was ready to trigger. We would go in at 6:00am on Wednesday morning. This meant leaving the house around 4:45am. It was ok cause it was all for a good cause.

Ok so that brings us back to retrieval. I was SO nervous. Not about the procedure but about how many eggs they'd get. I couldn't wait for them to put me under so I could wake up and know how many they got. In recovery the very first thing I remember is saying 15 eggs. Now I"m not sure if Eric told me or if I asked him. A tear fled my eye. I was so happy to get that many! I kept repeating over and over- 15 eggs. The nurse asked me how I was feeling and all I could say was 15 eggs.

About 30 minutes later we were on our way home. I was a bit sore but nothing I couldn't handle. I didn't even need tylenol. The doc said he'd call me the next day with the fertilization report. We waited all day on Thursday and nothing. I was on pins and needles all day. Finally I called the office and got the cold shoulder. They made me feel like I was crazy. They wouldn't get in contact with the doctor. I cried and cried. I equated it to having a child in the ICU and no one would tell you what was going on. I was devestated. We spent another nervous night.

Finally this morning around 10am I couldn't wait anymore and had Eric call. He left a message. I had to get out of the house. When I returned I called him and he had the news.

Out of the 15 eggs 12 were immediately mature and one more matured while they were waiting. Waiting for what I don't know and I don't care. So they had 13 to work with. Of those 13, 11 fertilized! YEP 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so thrilled. I was expecting maybe 8 to fetilize. We won't here anything more until we go in on Monday for the transfer, unless something really bad happens.

I actually feel for the first time that I WILL be a mom. I am so happy!!!! I want to thank everyone who has been praying for us. I know there are a lot of you and hope you'll continue to pray for us. I also hope this got you into a good pattern of prayer for your everyday life. God deserves fellowship from all of us during good times and bad. I know I pray for each of you in whatever you're going through at this time, be it infertility, planning a wedding, or looking for a job. God bless you all!

Move out of my way I'm charging through!

Well, I had an ultrasound today. I already have 10 follicles right around 10mm and over(plus 2 that are over 16, but those are the old cysts). Also I have 5-10 on EACH ovary that are under 10mm. So tonight I'll be starting the cetrotide along with the continued dose of 300iu of Gonal F, aspirin and the prenatal vitamin. I go back on Friday at 9:15am for another check. On Friday they should be reducing the Gonal F but also adding the low dose HCG. I wonder how long it will be before I trigger? This is going SO FAST! Oh forgot to say my E2 is at 161 more then triple what it was on Saturday!

Things are underway!

WOW. After my last post Af finally decided to make an appearance. I was so incredibly busy and exhausted with work last weekend that this is the first I've had to post. Anyway, Saturday was cd2 and I went in for bloodwork and U/S. My E2 level was 58, LH-3.98, FSH- 4.5, Progesterone- 0.58 or so. The u/s did show a cyst however. I guess it was ok to go ahead since my numbers were so low. I started taking the Gonal F shots on Saturday night. I'm on 300iu for now. I'm also taking baby aspirin and of course the prenatal vitamin. I have another appointment tomorrow. Hopefully things are progressing nicely. I know at some point we'll be adding cetrotide and low dose HCG. Then of course it will be the trigger and then.... ER. WOW. That's all I can say!

I love this new RE. They have a little monitor that I can watch during the u/s. They are so thorough and informative. I"m actually excited to go back rather then dreading it like I used to. I think tomorrow I'll take a trip to some naperville stores after the appointment. :)

And now for your amusement a little story from Saturday.
After the U/S the nurse told me that they had some wipes that I could use to clean off. I looked on the counter and there was a huge container of wipes. I grabbed a couple and cleaned up. About 30 seconds later I had this horrible burning! I looked at the giant container of wipes and it said disinfectant wipes. OMG I had just used the wipes meant to clean off the table. OOPS. I then found the wipes meant for me. They were more like towelettes. I quickly grabbed a couple and ran to the bathroom. Luckily those made me feel better. I will never make that mistake again!!

Tic Toc

Yeah I'm still here and still waiting for my lovely friend to show. The RE gave me provera for 5 days and I stopped that a week ago. I had some lovely spotting but that has seemed to stop. I'm so tired of all this waiting!! There is nothing I can do until at least Tuesday. I'm hoping AF shows by then. I actually took a pg test this morning thinking that that would definately bring on Af like all of the other months. No such luck yet. I guess we'll see what the weekend brings. Normally it wouldn't bother me too much. Unfortunately I requested 2 weeks off of work starting the 17th. I guess I'll just tell them I am available for work now.

So more waiting for us. tic toc, tic toc.

protocol

Well looks like I'll be taking Provera to bring on my period. I'll take the pill for 5 days and it should arrive within 2 weeks of stopping the pill. I also got my protocol.

cd1: call the office
cd2/3: u/s and bloodwork for baseline, start Gonal F 300 units per day

I'll be going in for u/s every so often and then when I need it I'll take cetrotide ( I guess doc still wants me on it) and low dose HCG

when I"m ready I'll do the HCG trigger shot. It will be 15,000 units ( I did 10,000 with IUI)

Then 36 hours later it's IVF retrieval, 5 days after that its transfer. Hopefully we'll have enough left over to freeze a few!

She said I'd be on the stims for up to 10 days (I"m thinking it will take almost the whole time)

As soon as my period arrives I'll have a slightly better time frame in mind.

Now lets hope work lets me off or I'll have to quit!

Movin' on up..

We signed all of our consents yesterday. We also had our blood tests. It was Eric's first blood draw so the nurses were standing by in case of fainting. It was quite comical actually. The retrieval and transfer of the embryo's will take place downtown. We're hoping for a NON rush hour appointment for that. I'm still waiting to hear about my protocol because as it turns out the cetrotide makes my follicles disappear. It would have been nice to know this AFTER my first failed IUI so we didnt' waste more time and money on a second one. GRRR

We also made the huge decision to move up the schedule. We'll start the IVF process when my next period arrives as long as it's about 2 weeks away or more. We're waiting on my progesterone test results from yesterday to see if I've ovuated this cycle yet. Hopefully those results will come in toay.

As soon as I get my drug protocol I'll put it up on here.

Numbers!

With our impending IVF coming up I've been thinking alot about probabilities and numbers, so here are some from the TTC journey.

15 1/2 --- months that we've been TTC
2- the number of birthdays I've had since TTC
26- the cycle day I'm currently on (and I don't think I've O'd yet)
12- the number of times I've stuck myself with needles for my IUI attempts.
2- the number of IUI attmepts we've had
3- doctors that have tried to get us pregnant
$4,000- spent on the IUI attempts
$4,000- spent out of pocket on IF testing
$30,000- spent by insurance for my surgery
6- medications I was taking at one time during any given cycle
30%- chance we were told by RE #1 of getting pg with IUI
5%- chance, the true chance we had with IUI
50%- chance of giving birth with the help of IVF
10- breakdowns I've had in trying to deal with insurance since starting this process
30- times of other emotional breakdowns related to various TTC topics
4- number of times we've told the IL's about our TTC troubles with barely a response
$14,000- cost of one IVF cycle
$5,000- cost of an FET cycle
150- OPK's I've taken
10- pregnancy tests I've taken
30- blood tests I've had in the last 6 months
700- times (at least) weve prayed to get pregnant
270,000,000- sperm Eric has
3%- of those sperm are normal shape
50%- are highly motile
1%- chance of getting pregnant without medical help
1- job I had to get to pay for all of this
26- hours a week I work
0- hours of really good sleep I've had since starting work
20,000,000- times we've been asked "when are you gonna have kids"
2- mother's day's and father's day's we've been sad
1-Christmas that we've suffered through without a baby
2- Easters with no baby

I'm sure there are more but that's all I can think of right now. Some might wonder if all this is worth it. All I can say is when we finally hold that baby(s) in our arms I hope that all those numbers fade away and we can enjoy the 1 or 2 that we've been dreaming of for so long!